This is like telling a gourmet to forget the antipasti and the primo piatto and to just go for the secondo piatto (the main course) and the dolce be damned.In other words, wham, bang, thank you ma’am, or wham-bam-thank you-Sam for women.
From the producers of Kingfisher beer and McDowell whisky, treating wine like McDonald is not surprising, even though serious wine lovers may suspect shades of disdain in the eyes of the marketing people who are used to selling beer and started marketing their McWine only last year.
Wine to a wine-connoisseur (we are not talking of snobs or sommeliers- only the discerning those who love their red or white wine, sparkling or rosé, irrespective of the caste, sex or creed) means going through some routine ceremony for better enjoyment. Looking at the colour in the glass is like appreciating the woman’s curves or the man’s six-pack. Smelling (nosing the wine) is as important for both the genders and the colours of wine. There might be a related reason why women spend over $25 billion buying perfumes every year. Swirling and sniffing is a similar part of the foreplay for a fine wine drinker.
Of course, the main course is the best part of a meal, the wine-glass or the sex. Here too, the slower you are at it the more you enjoy-assuming the comparable qualities between our subjects are fine (good quality). You would roll every sip of the wine in your mouth like you would… (you’ve got the gist, I am sure).
You don’t need to read Kama sutra to understand that good sex needs a good amount of gentle after-play (oops-I forgot; I hope the readers are over 18, or above 25 if they are Indian). The beauty of a fine wine is also in its after-taste, how complex and how long it stays in the brain through the mouth, after the sip is over.
A good lover-of wine or otherwise understands that the rituals are a part of the enjoyment, for a complete experience. We are talking of the people who love to eat well- whether it is a steak, sikandari raan, rack of lamb, chicken tandoori, a red snapper or even shahi korma, gucchhi mattar or a mushroom risotto. We are not talking of the people who love to go out with their husband, girl-friend or a lady friend to McDonald’s for dinner.
To the later category, the dictum applies very well-for wine tool. It also should be ok for people who believe in McSex. For this category the Kingfisher Bohemia is perhaps a good choice. No need for foreplay, an ordinary weak wine-but good bang for the buck- ‘imported’ maal for Rs. 670 in Delhi!), don’t look for aftertaste- there is none, it is a simple wine, after all.
And in case you are not hung up on the imported chaap just for the heck of it, many of our Indian beauties from Sula, Grover, Vintage’s Reveilo, Chateau d’Ori, Terroir, York and Mercury’s Aryaa, Zampa etc.are all laps ahead in the race and they cost less too!
It is not that UB group which owns Kingfisher and McDonald-oops, McDowell, does not have good wines in its stable (pun intended- Mr. Vijay Mallya). Try their Bouchard Burgundy, or 10 Chapters-from the same country of origin- South Africa. You may even enjoy sex better after two glasses of Shiraz. I am sure one day UB will be a Force India to reckon with- and not only in Formula 1.
But if you really love Kingfisher-try their beer; I am told the popular ‘Premier’ is really good. And as my driver tells me, the ‘Strong’-with almost twice the alcohol, is great value for money (big bang for the buck-if you will).
Oh, in case you have not heard so far and are confused-Kingfisher Bohemia is not beer or whisky, but the latest arrival from South Africa- their entry level wine for which you may Skip the Rituals, Drop the Ceremony. So no formalities, no fuss; next time your guests drop in- just ask them-Premium, Strong or Bohemia?
Subhash Arora
Our advice is Treat wine like sex- drink two glasses of any fine wine a day and/ or have sex twice a day, for as long as you can carry on- they are good for health; but be warned that this is our editorial opinion unsubstantiated by any scientific studies most of which seem to concentrate and concur on the good health effects of the former. And please be careful about the legal age-we don’t want to run foul with the law on either score-editor |